Guest Post: “He’s Yours for a Reason” by Lorraine

On November 27, 2010 by Cherise Shockley

“He’s Yours for a Reason”

By Lorraine-Mother of Colin, Caleb (Type 1) and Lila

After a particularly emotional D morning, on the tail of a few days dotted with extra irritating D episodes, Caleb’s school nurse, Mrs. M, emailed me some encouraging words ending with this statement:

“He’s yours for a reason.”

I’m not sure why, but those words hit me and I put my head in my hands and wept.

People have said similar things to me many times since Caleb was diagnosed. “Thank goodness he has you.” “You are so on top of everything.” “He is so lucky to have you as his mom.”

I don’t know exactly what to take from these sentiments.

Yes, I learned anything and everything about type 1 diabetes and caring for a child with diabetes as quickly as I could absorb the information. I expeditiously decided that pumping was the way to go for Caleb and moreso, OmniPod was the pump for us and no I don’t care Mr. Endo if you don’t think so because you have no patients under the age of 12 who have used it. I have done my research. I am no twit and that is the pump we want to try.

Yes, within days of being diagnosed Caleb was back in preschool and I was doing everything I could to be sure he was treated the same as he was before diagnosis. Since then I have spent countless hours preparing the people who oversee his education and care at school to ensure that he is safe and treated respectfully and fairly.

I try to make every decision for Caleb as a child first and work diabetes into those decisions second.  I had the fortune of getting that advice the day after he was diagnosed. I also have the fortune of having an older son without diabetes for whom I have made decisions thus establishing a standard for me to measure myself against.

But do these things make me better at being Caleb’s mom than anyone else?

I know for a fact that they do not.  I know countless parents who do these same things for their children. They are doing amazing jobs raising happy and healthy kids who happen to be living with diabetes.  I am lucky to have their stories to compare to, to help me tailor my approach to do the best that I can for Caleb.

But for each child that has amazingly committed parents, there are probably as many, if not more, children whose parents find managing diabetes too much to handle and those children get less than great care as a result.

So yes, I suppose Caleb is lucky to have me, and he is mine for a reason.

But there is more to this picture.

I have three children.

Colin is my oldest. He is the son I spent more than two and a half years giving my undivided attention and devotion. He is the boy who shared each Harry Potter book with me for the very first time. He is the one I have had all my parenting firsts with and who has set a tone and standard for his siblings.

I will never have that bond with my other children.

Lila, my youngest, is my only daughter. She brushes and styles my hair. We fuss over clothes and shoes and haircuts.  She is a girl and the youngest of three children – I am a girl and the youngest of three children.

I will never have that bond with my other children.

Caleb is my second born. He has always resembled me, whereas his older brother has always been the image of his father. Caleb quickly demonstrated not only does he look like me, but has several of my character traits.  He is determined, strong willed and often silly.  I am linked to him because in him I see me looking back every day.

There is another connection between Caleb and me.  We work together as a team each and every day to manage his blood sugar.

I wish not to never have that bond with my other children.

I am able to impart wisdom to each of them in different ways, and them to me.  We are managing through our lives’ journey together, whatever the joys and obstacles we are greeted with along the way.

So yes, I agree. Caleb is mine for a reason, as are Colin and Lila.

They are each mine for varied and special reasons.

If you would like to read more about Lorraine and Caleb check out “This is Caleb”

You can also follow her on Twitter @Colcalli

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